Limerick City, Ireland.

Knife crime, shootings and burnings (both property and people) are off the scale in Limerick.

Limerick on Ireland’s west coast is more commonly known as Stab City and is a place where – if you ever get lost and end up there1 – you need to keep your wits about you at all times.

The moniker Stab City gives a somewhat false impression of this Irish city’s degeneracy – it could lead people to believe they’d get a quick death. While the natives are handy with knives and guns they also have the even more savage tendency of burning those they set upon. It’s not unusual for Limerick’s inhabitants to throw petrol or other inflammable liquid on their prey and set them alight.

You should always beware that while in Limerick a large section of the native population will have you designated as prey if you’re carrying anything more valuable than a packet of cigarettes.

I should point out that it’s a little unfair to single out Limerick with the Stab City label while its depravity is only nominally south of Cork or Galway. I sometimes wonder if this alias (Stab City) was purposefully applied to Limerick just to take the heat of Cork and Galway cities and their hinterlands. It would make economic sense, tourist wise, to project the backwardness and debauchery of these three cities onto just one of them.

You might say that Limerick and its local economy has been sacrificed in order to give the impression that Cork and Galway are civilised places with a First World way of doing things. Thus the tourist or visiting business person might feel safe in the western half of Ireland as long as they avoid Stab City2.

This singling out of Limerick would also ties in with the rat-like cunning the provincial Irish are famed for. Who else would think of sweeping the egregious depravity and violence that saturates two regions (Connaught and Munster) into one city? Or rather, who’d think of trying to delude outsiders by claiming that “we’re all lovely and intelligent people here in provincial Ireland; all that stabbing, shooting, paedophilia, rape and homophobia you hear about only occurs in Stab City”.

A guide to Ireland and its entertainment criteria:

This video gives very good indication of what you’ll have to deal with in Ireland. It stars two comedians, the Rubberbandits, who are superstars in Ireland and were given a prime-time slot on Irish national TV.

They have no entertainment or talent value whatsoever and are about as funny as watching two feral dog fornicate. Only in backward Ireland could such a pair of fatuous pricks gain national prominence.  

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1Think about the genre of movie where city folk, taking a cross country trip, go astray and end up entwined with an entire community of slackjawed inbred degenerates.
2And tourists do avoid Stab City but find that Cork and Galway offer disgustingly large amounts of backwardness and annoyances.